In the Beginning

I work with three guys. We go to lunch together almost every day, and we have been for years. Our jobs suck at times, but we can always count on having a little fun at lunch.

I started at my place of employment--we'll call it The Franchise--in 1996. The first guy I met was Bill.

My unit supervisor was walking me around and introducing me to each of the other unit supervisors. When we came to Bill, he stood up and shook my hand and acted very formal. He had short, slicked back hair, and a bunch of gold rings, earrings and chains. I thought, "Who the fuck is this guy?" I knew immediately to keep an eye on him because he was obviously a master of bullshit.

I worked an awful job opening mail for a month, but was lucky enough to score the budget position in the same section. I was off the linoleum and onto the coveted carpet area. Although I reported directly to the section manager, I sat with a group called the Tech Unit. This is where I met Ed.

Ed was the supply guy for the section, and the whipping boy for his unit supervisor Sherry. He was friendly and would talk to anyone who would listen. This would drive Sherry insane and I enjoyed watching her bloodshot eyes bug out of her head when she yelled at him. We had a Christmas party at a local bar not long after I started, and that's when I really got to know Ed over a few beers.

Eventually Bill became the supervisor of the Tech Unit, and we got to be friends. At some point we decided to start going to Sacramento Kings games, and hang out outside of work.

After a couple years I landed a job on the PC help desk. I met Chris at a satellite office where he was a lead or supervisor. He was a huge fucking guy and I didn't know what to make of him. (Now, of course, I know he's just a big pussy.) I didn't really get to know him until he later joined the help desk.

Eventually all four of us were on the PC help desk and at some point I can't remember the Lunch Bus was formed. The rules were simple: Be ready to roll at 11:00 and the decision of where to eat was made after the car was rolling.

There have been hundreds of funny incidents over the years, and I will try to chronicle these as I remember them, while also writing about current stuff.